Just lay back and enjoy?

I’ve flinched many a times on hearing a male colleague remark ‘When rape is inevitable, just lay back and enjoy it’, to the say the least this remark is not only chauvinistic it is awfully insensitive. This remark is usually to imply that the boss gave them a hard time. Do these men even know the agony, humiliation and heartbreak a woman goes through during and after rape?

Last week I read an article in the newspaper about 2 teenage girls who were gang raped by 16 men. On hearing the commotion men working in the nearby field/construction site came running, instead of helping to rescue the girls, they also join in to rape them.  If that was not enough one of the rapists was a friend of one of the girls.

A rape victim goes through severe trauma, in case the victim is a minor the whole family suffers. So then why do men so callously refer to rape? Is it considered macho? Would they still talk so flippantly if a close relative, say a sister or a daughter was raped?

Rape is generally defined as forced or nonconsensual sexual intercourse. Though a large chunk of rape victims are girl children and women, boys and men are also victims of rape. Rape is not necessarily about sex, it is about power and domination. A rapist uses force, or threat of violence, against the victim. It is physical and mental assault of the victim. It is not something to be joked about. The corporate world prides itself of being suave but the primal instinct still lurks deep within and manifests in such talk.


2 thoughts on “Just lay back and enjoy?

  1. Mangal, one must differenciate between the real and the metaphor. You probably have heard me use this phrase as well.

    At it’s most ‘fundamental’ level – this represents what life is all about. How many of the incedents that happen around you, how many of your bosses, your tasks, the traffic, the kids turning out what they become – consensual?

    In “Open to Desire” (a book I recoomnd) there is a story:

    A young woman, it is told, is walking through a field when she encounters a tiger that eyes her hungrily. She runs and the tiger pursues her. She comes to a cliff, takes hold of the root of a wild vine and, in a single motion, swings herself over the precipice. Dangling there, clutching the vine, she sees the tiger sniffing the ground above her. Trembling, she looks down. It is a long way to the bottom, and she feels momentarily dizzy. Then she sees something else. There is another tiger below, presumably a hungry one, who has also noticed her plight. The tigers prowl, one above and one below, waiting for their feast. She clings to the vine. Suddenly, two mice appear at the edge of the cliff and start to gnaw at the roots that hold her. The woman notices a wild strawberry growing nearby on the side of the hill. She reaches with one hand to pluck the strawberry, still clutching the vine with the other, and places the fruit in her mouth. She takes one bite. Ahhhh! How sweet it tastes.


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